29th July, 2014 - intake and update

B: multi grain bagel with curd, smoked salmon and avocado, strawberries and blackberries
L: multi grain bagel with curd, smoked trout, avocado, one carrot and unpictured humus, strawberries, blackberries and grapes
S: one nectarine with tahini and honey, hot vanilla milk, 2 servings of muesli with milk (only one pictured)
D: alaska pollock with spinach and feta, two tomatoes

Hmm I haven’t done anything today as the weather was horrible and I had to skip my run because of the stormy weather. I should have packed my suitcase by now as I’m heading off to Mallorca tomorrow but I’m just sooo lazy and can’t bring myself to do it.
One week of not working out causes me terrible mood swings and I could just cry the whole day but meanwhile I haven’t slept enough and am just extremely exhausted. Having a tough time coping with body image and thoughts as well. Still I think I’m managing pretty okay as I’m hitting the calorie goal anorexia sets in my mind and it isn’t too low.
So yeah, tomorrow I’m heading off to Mallorca with my best friend and her parents as I’ve already said! I’m really looking forwards it though I’m really nervous and anxious and scared I could trigger my gal pal as I’m struggling a lot lately… I really hope it’ll turn out fine and thoughts won’t be too unbearable during our holidays.
I’ll keep you updated! Sending lots of love! Xx

Thank you! I really appreciated your message :)
Yeah, I know that… I’m not thaaaaat scared of carbs but I (or rather ed) prefer(s) to eat proteins especially in the evening. I don’t know, I’m just having a really tough time right now.
Otherwise I’ve been veggie since I turned 9 and started eating chicken/turkey breast after my second inpatient stay (spring 2013)… I then became vegetarian again, but started eating lean meat again as I am about to change my diet a bit to see whether it helps with acne and there’s this whole ‘no processed food’, ‘low GI’, ‘no dairy’ blabla… I’m just sooo self concious atm :(